Pooling my thoughts


IT’S THAT time of year when we swap our morning walks for an hour of strenuous activity in the pool, although not until the water temperature reaches 25C.

I’m a bit of a wuss like that.

These are our preferred means of daily exercise which we find much more enjoyable than regular visits to the gym.  Our local gymnasium is a relatively short walk away, but it became something of a chore.

The crunch came after the proprietor refused our request to suspend the Princess’s membership until she had recovered from extensive foot surgery.  His reaction was, “Why?She still has the use of her upper body”. Up yours Tonto, I more or less told him, and we haven’t been back since.

The first morning at the pool saw me execute my customary leap into the deep end.  But a strange thing happened.

Like those clips in movies where a character is moving at lightning speed, but the special effects lads have slowed other people and traffic down to a crawl.

Well that was me in reverse.

I had reached optimum height and with my arms clasped tightly around my knees, was poised in mid-air, when I had an alarming thought.  Had I removed my hearing-aids?  Yes I know it’s surprising to learn that one so young needs these devices, but there you are. Too many rock concerts in the seventies.

Hearing aid technology and water do not mix and instead of my past life flashing before me, all I was hearing was “nineteen hundred euros; nineteen hundred euros” repeating itself.

Then, still hovering, I questioned whether or not I had taken the requisite poolside shower just seconds before, but it was like those occasions when you lock the front door after leaving home.  The wife asks in the car, “Did you lock up?”  You know that you did, but feel compelled to go back and make sure.

I knew that I had showered. Hadn’t I?  Because if not and our pool superintendent had spotted it, then I was toast. Our superintendent makes Genghis Khan look like Sooty and is the main reason why our community pool is one of the best in the area, and not showering prior to swimming is a castratable offence.

But happy to relate, the aforementioned aids were at home, and it was confirmed by the Princess that we had indeed showered together.  Now how could I have forgotten something like that?

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